OOTD: Do I Have A Right to be Confident?
"I think it's amazing you can rock something with such confidence."
"I like outfit 2, you inspire confidence by wearing that!"
"I just love your confidence!"
These comments always strike me as both flattering and...well, something else. Perhaps it's just me, but it almost feels like these compliments are (unintended!) double edged swords that cut two ways. One of my favorite YouTubers, Helen Anderson addresses what it is that bothers me about these comments perfectly with her video called My Honest Opinion on "Body Confidence".
She has several quote-worthy quips from it, and I recommend you just watch it, but here's what struck me the hardest out of the whole video:
"We've been made to feel so shitty about ourselves, because the media keeps giving us. . .this idea of what we should look like, that when a girl that goes against the grain and is happy in herself. . .there's this need to know the secret. And there isn't a secret!"
It's started to bother me that just for putting on clothes I like, it becomes this "Oh wow, she's so brave and confident to wear that!" moment to everyone else. Um, no. I'm just wearing clothes, same as you. It ends up highlighting this underlying thought process we're brainwashed into having. In this highly visual world, we are conditioned to accept that which fits the slim built, flat abs, Instagram model (all of whom are undeniably gorgeous!), but reject anything that doesn't fit that mold.
So then when we see someone who doesn't fit this one body type, it strikes us in a way where we have to commend her on being confident. As if she didn't have the right to be so bold in the first place.
Why not just say she looks damn good in what she's wearing and be done with it? Why make it this accolade of "You're so brave!"
Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive. It certainly wouldn't be the first time, and I know that. But this discussion is one I would like to contribute my viewpoint to and happily welcome more input as well!
Confidence is not something I'm ashamed to have, and I am deeply flattered by those who believe I have this trait. But if I am confident, I would hope it would be noticed in an environment where people wouldn't be so distracted by my body and how it's being showcased, but on my actions or words instead.
"I like outfit 2, you inspire confidence by wearing that!"
"I just love your confidence!"
These comments always strike me as both flattering and...well, something else. Perhaps it's just me, but it almost feels like these compliments are (unintended!) double edged swords that cut two ways. One of my favorite YouTubers, Helen Anderson addresses what it is that bothers me about these comments perfectly with her video called My Honest Opinion on "Body Confidence".
She has several quote-worthy quips from it, and I recommend you just watch it, but here's what struck me the hardest out of the whole video:
"We've been made to feel so shitty about ourselves, because the media keeps giving us. . .this idea of what we should look like, that when a girl that goes against the grain and is happy in herself. . .there's this need to know the secret. And there isn't a secret!"
It's started to bother me that just for putting on clothes I like, it becomes this "Oh wow, she's so brave and confident to wear that!" moment to everyone else. Um, no. I'm just wearing clothes, same as you. It ends up highlighting this underlying thought process we're brainwashed into having. In this highly visual world, we are conditioned to accept that which fits the slim built, flat abs, Instagram model (all of whom are undeniably gorgeous!), but reject anything that doesn't fit that mold.
So then when we see someone who doesn't fit this one body type, it strikes us in a way where we have to commend her on being confident. As if she didn't have the right to be so bold in the first place.
Why not just say she looks damn good in what she's wearing and be done with it? Why make it this accolade of "You're so brave!"
Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive. It certainly wouldn't be the first time, and I know that. But this discussion is one I would like to contribute my viewpoint to and happily welcome more input as well!
Confidence is not something I'm ashamed to have, and I am deeply flattered by those who believe I have this trait. But if I am confident, I would hope it would be noticed in an environment where people wouldn't be so distracted by my body and how it's being showcased, but on my actions or words instead.
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