OOTD // Comedy Night
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| Tee: Aeropostale Skirt: Forever 21 Jacket: thrifted Bag & Sunglasses: H&M |
(AKA: which was months ago, so I'm digging through archived photos to make a post).
We wandered the downtown area before the show and took a few photos along the way. All in all, I've got to say this whole jacket-tied-around-the-waist trend is my favorite trend to ever happen. My inner 90's child is reveling in this trend! Anyway, not much else to say outfit-wise. I'm still loving my dark colors, albeit this army green jacket has sneakily been coming to the forefront of almost all my outfit choices lately. It's a thrifted find that's definitely becoming an invaluable favorite!
So I never shared this little story, but last semester, a classmate from one of my morning classes plopped himself next to me and said: "Hey Linda, can I talk to you after class today?"
"Oh, sure," I said quizzically, wondering what it could be about. We were working on group projects for the class, but we weren't in the same group, so I wasn't sure what it might be about. He was a nice guy from Nepal that I'd talked to at the beginning of the semester, but we hadn't interacted much since.
At the end of class, he walked with me out the door and started amiably chatting about the doodles he'd seen me sketching and complimented my drawing. I kept up the small talk all while steering our path towards my next class, wondering what he had specifically wanted to talk to me about. I had a feeling I knew what it was, and when he finally got to the part of awkwardly asking for my number, I knew I was right.
"You seem like such an interesting person," (he motioned towards my outfit of the day at that part, which made me inwardly giggle) "I would like to get to know you better. Do you think we could hang out outside of class?"
He asked in such a nice way I figured it wouldn't hurt to give him my number.
Besides, I was in a hurry to get to class, I didn't want to go through the whole awkward spiel of "I'm not interested in dating right now" with him. Albeit I did that later, after he invited me to get coffee the next day. After taking a long walk with coffees in hand and easily carrying on a pleasant conversation, I was sad to know that I was not attracted to him the way he was to me. However, I've been getting better over just the past few years at being more assertive and outspoken on these issues. There have been one too many instances where "being nice" did not play out in my favor.
Thankfully, he was quite amicable about my friend zoning him (a term I've come to dislike immensely, because to be clear, the friend zone is not real. It's a place guys have invented to make themselves feel better about rejection. We're either dating or we're not, nothing more to it). It always sucks, but it's best to be clear and upfront right away to avoid awkwardness in the future! This is a lesson I've learned previously the hard way...
Any instances like this happen to you? How have you handled unwanted crushes?
Happy October lovelies! I'm hoping to find some time to get into full October mode and have a more fall-themed post for you next time! What would you like to see more of on here?
8 comments
I usually let them down nicely, especially since I'm getting married soon! haha
but if they pushed, I would tell them in a rude way. haha
Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥
darn it! i want you to find your prince charming Linda. you deserve one! but if you're not attracted to him honesty is definitely the best thing. it tells him exactly how you feel. there was a guy that loved me and i only liked him. i was upfront with him but he always felt there would be hope. i had to end the friendship because he would get mad when i would go on dates. he did get married, but sent me a friend request on FB. i didn't accept it because i feel despite it all he still likes me. LOL
hope you find the one (at least to go out with soon)
http://www.averysweetblog.com/
lovely look, dear :)
Saci
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Friend zoning isn't real, like you said. I've been in your shoes way too many times, but be glad you haven't taken it father "just to see" if you could make yourself like them more and THEN realize you didn't like them. I know a few friends who tried to force liking someone who likes them a lot and then everyone ended up being in a lot of hurt. You can't help that you don't like someone, just like someone can't help not liking you. Honestly is the best policy, and you did that, and that makes you awesome. I've lost a few guy friends in the process of trying to "just" be friends with them, but you know what? To heck with them if they're not happy with that. If you can't be happy being friends with someone and just be happy being friends alone, there's just going to be awkward tension coming from 'em like strange juju. I was talking to my dad the other day and he said that sometimes it's just not possible to be friends with a guy. There are rare exceptions, of course, and those are nice to have, but at this time in our lives, men are going to want to talk to you to be in a relationship with you. And I mean, the only time I'd strike up conversation with a random dude would be for the same reason, so it's not just the guys. We're all guilty!
It's hard when people show interest in you but you can't return it. It's hard when they're decent people who pay attention to you and want the best for you. But if something isn't going to work out or there's no initial attraction? Don't waste your time or his.
But you already know this.
Sorry... I've had some recent experience with this, as in the past month experience, and I needed to let some stuff out. This isn't the forum for that, but it helps. Thanks for listening, lololol.
PS) you're cute.
*Honesty is the best policy
me make typo rawer
Yeah, I am nice at first but if they get too pushy, I will actually tell them off for not respecting what I am saying.
You look great, by the way!
Have a nice day,
-Kati
Hi doll!
I really love your skirt!
xx
http://www.madridforniagirl.com/
i like your thoughts on friend zoning- nicely put! and i totally think being honest is so much better than stringing someone along and then eventually stopping to text them back, haha. it might be awkward, but if i was in their shoes i'd rather much get a "no" than wait by the phone for days, right? I always go with the "i'm not dating anyone right now, and don't want to" spiel too- that way it's not them, it's me ;)
also, lols on going months back into the archives. totally worth it though- i'm obsessed with how that jacket looks tied!
xo marlen
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