SLIDER

Where the Heart Is

Shrug: c/o Romwe   Dress: H&M  Boots: Just Fab   Hat: Target   Watch: c/o Feral Watches   Glasses: c/o Firmoo
(Hooray for low quality front-camera phone photos!)
This dress is so perfect. It's simple, fits in that perfectly loose-but-shapely way, and has a funny statement on it. It's true. I'd sleep all day if I could - and because I can't, I have a coffee in my hand at all times.

So for the extra long President's Day weekend, I decided to take off and visit home for a day. It was well needed too, because all these new changes have been taking their toll on me. What I've realized when I arrived home and was met with the warmth and love of family and friends, home is where the heart is - and each of these beautiful people have a piece of mine.

However, I'm not running away from the trials I'm facing here in Boise. Right now, I can't complain too much. While I miss the fellowship and richness of deep friendships, I'm trying to skim by on the shallow acquaintances and quick chit chats I've found here. It all takes time, and as a fairly reserved and quiet person, it'll take me even longer.

---long short, dramatic story ahead, brace yourself---

What has been causing me a lot of stress would be the hostility and venomous attitude I've been facing from a co-worker at my new job. We'll call her A, because if you've seen PLL, you'll understand. Anyway, from the first shift I worked with A, I could pick up on her disdain towards me. I didn't take it to heart at the time, because I was new and still making newbie mistakes. It's always difficult with a new hire, though I didn't think I was doing too bad since I had previous experience.

But whatever, I could tell A had a big attitude and was a sassy personality. Her impatience towards me would fade eventually. Then the next time I worked with her, her obvious silence towards me became louder. She'd chat happily with everyone else but I could have been invisible from the way she was acting. She had absolutely zero interest in getting to know who I was as a person, and the only time she'd talk to me was when she absolutely had to, such as telling me what to do or ask what a customer had ordered.

Finally, the last shift we were together, she walked through the door and blazed past me, brushing my shoulder forcefully. I was bumped to the side and squeaked out, "Sorry!?"
She totally ignored me and instead made a face of revulsion at the way I'd set up the espresso machine (for when I was making drinks).
"What the hell is this!?" she grabbed the towel I'd been using to tap excess grind out on and threw it onto the floor. "This is disgusting!"

I couldn't believe the venom exuding from her! I had to physically step back to escape the tension. Her eyes rolled over to me and with a voice full of disdain said sarcastically, "I'm guessing you made drinks this morning, huh?"

My irritation finally surfaced, and with a tone matching her's I asked sarcastically, "Gee, what gave it away?" I swooped the towel up from the floor and walked out to dispose of it in the dirty rag bin. I had to collect myself a bit before going back out to face her. The usual silence resumed, however, and I happily reciprocated it. I'd rather deal with her quietness than her outbursts.

Finally, when it was close to when I was scheduled to leave, I turned to face her. I was going to clear the air, make sure we were seeing things eye to eye, and hopefully ease whatever meaningless drama she was trying to create.

"Look, I know I'm not your favorite person to work with, and I get it. I'm new, I make mistakes, and I don't do things exactly the way you like. Just tell me if I'm doing something wrong though, and I'll fix it. I'm here to learn."

Her face creased into a look of mock confusion.
"What makes you think I don't like working with you?"

At that, my eyebrows about disappeared off my face. Seriously? Did she just say that? I may have ditzy moments, but I wasn't stupid. She was trying to play those stupid mind games on me!
"Um, well maybe I've been misreading things, but I know you're frustrated with me. So just tell me if you have a problem with me, okay?"

She shook her head in denial and looked back down at her phone. "Yeah, okay, whatever."

So. That is my current situation. I'm scheduled to close with her tomorrow, which I'm absolutely dreading. I haven't closed at this location before, so I'm certain procedures will be different, and you can guess just how much patience A will have with me...

However, I've been receiving much encouragement from family and friends, and have realized this is a perfect opportunity to try and be a positive testimony towards her negative attitude. I don't understand her hate towards me, but I intend to demonstrate love towards my enemy.

As most people would say, "Kill 'em with kindness!"

Any words of advise on this situation? I've been one of the lucky few who have never had to deal with this sort of girl drama, but looks like my luck has run out. Have any of you had to face this? What did you do and what would you say I should do?

To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:20-21

27 comments

Jen Hsieh said...

That dress is the most perfect thing. I can totally relate to #SleepAllDay.

And sorry to hear about that co-worker, she sounds miserable and non-confrontational. The best thing to do is just keep going about your business and, like you said, kill 'em with kindness. It's hard to swallow what you really want to say or do but in the long run she's the one that loses.

Keep your chin up and power through it!

Kati said...

You will always have to work with people that don't like you and vice versa - this is just the reality of working life. Just stay above it and do your thing!

Also love the dress, so perfect!

Have a great day,
-Kati

Samantha said...

I lived in a group home for a bit and definitely had my fair share of similar situations. One girl used to like to tip over my bucket of water when I was cleaning the floor. Sigh, good times. Haha. I'm pretty sensitive so I may have cried. Sorry there isn't some profound advice in all that :S Stay strong, my dear!

And that sweater is a dream!

Vanessa A said...

I love that dress and need it in my life! Great outfit as always!

Xo, Vanessa (Delightful Sunflower)

Frances Vasquez said...

Love that shrug.

Love, Didi of Frances and Flair
KEEP IN TOUCH: Facebook||Bloglovin'||Twitter||Instagram

caffinatedlove said...

1) I love how simple your outfit is! The shapes and monochromatic tones are perfect for a classy, easy look. I'm just loving black on you lately!

2) I agree that "kill them with kindness" is a great option, but I think an even better option is to go to your boss first and let them know something happened. One time, I had a spat with a coworker who was doing things that really rubbed me the wrong way, but instead of telling my supervisor about it I just ignored it until this particular coworker threw me under the bus one day, and because it was the first my supervisor had heard of it, I got the. There needs to be a trail of complaints in order for you to protect yourself. Don't think twice!

love,
a

www.missdecaf.blogspot.com

Kim Alston said...

hey linda! i need that dress in my life. hahaha i live for sleep.

she seems to be a smart ass, troublemaker and bully rolled up in one. i would document by date all of these occurrences and what transpired. if she doesn't change, bring that paper with everything you wrote down to your supervisor. tell him/her that you're not trying to cause any trouble but this problem is continuing (even after approaching her personally). it's so unfortunate.hope things turn around.
http://www.averysweetblog.com/

Mica T said...

That dress is so awesome! And so are your boots, I love them! :) Such a nice outfit!

I think 'kill them with kindness' is the only thing you can do really, try your best! :) It's not easy but you have to remember she has been working there longer so maybe just more 'set' in her ways. Maybe after each shift, or during it, if a manager is nearby, make a point of asking her how you are doing, if there is anything you can improve? Show her (and the overhearing manager!) that you are trying to get along, you can't do much more than that :)

Away From The Blue

Jasmine Hwang said...

What a fun little dress to have on for those kinds of days! I hope all the drama blows over soon! It's so draining having people or situations like that in your life! I'm glad you were able to get away to people you love to cheer you up :)

be the plebeian

Carla Florendo said...

what a biatch i can say... but it's good that you're being the bigger person in the situation, Linda. that's always the better option to be. good luck and I hope you get through her somehow. i don't really know what's not to like about you, i think you're a sweet person.

anyway, i love your dress and what it says.. gaw, who doesn't just want to sleep all day right? haha

xo, Carla
www.carlaviolet.com

Candice Petersen said...

Love the outfit!!

Candice | Beauty Candy Loves
♥♥♥

candystilettos.com said...

great post and you look fab xxo
Jamie
www.candystilettos.com

Alexis Crawford said...

I NEED that dress in my life!
Alexis @ thelittlebrunette

FASHION TALES said...

I have that exact cardigan, and love how comfy it is. Don't worry about that person, she sounds like she probably needs a reality check and love in her life. Perhaps you will be the light that she sees in order for her to change. Kindness is free, and sometimes it takes just that for others to get things in order, so to speak. :) <3

Danny said...

you look amazing in that dress! suits you wonderfully

Mili said...

A doesn't sound like a very nice person to work with. I wonder if she really is oblivious to how awful she's being. Anyways, I love the #sleepallday dress. That's a motto I can stand by :)

Mili

Toks said...

There's always one bad apple in the batch. Sorry to hear about this Linda. Actually I had a similar situation when I started at my job, not exactly the same but similar hostility. Fortunately for me the big boss got to hear about it and really pulled the girl over the coals (she was afraid I was after her job which was stupid as we're in different departments but have to coordinate) We are now the best of friends. Usually people that are so hostile to new employees have a personal problem. Are you younger than her? Has she been to university? Do you dress better than her? Are you prettier that she is? It sounds silly but all these little things can affect some people, jeaslousy, fear of not being as good as etc. etc. You're such a sweet person that you'll probably end up killing her with kindness which may be the best road to take, but I think I would probably just ignore her and get on really well with the rest of the guys. She's obviously a coward because cowards can never look you in the eye and give you a straight answer when you confront them. Hope the situation gets better. Gread dress btw and love the combo with the cardigan. xoxoxo

Kelly said...

That hashtag is basically my favorite thing ever!

xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

Helen Chik said...

Its always hard to deal with people around you but at the end of the day as long as you're doing the right thing by yourself then ignore them!

You're looking great though!

Thanks for sharing these beautiful images!

Helen xx
http://CH1K.com

PS. Its the last week to enter my Daniel Wellington Giveaway and would love if you would enter ;)

Love and Ace said...

I LOVE that dress.. looks so comfy, I could probably sleep in it too. Hope everything works out with your coworker, definitely a lesson in patience for ya! xx Kat

Love and Ace

Midwest Muse said...

This dress is perfect and I love the all black and white look on you! Also jealous of your bare legs. Like really jealous.

By The Shore, Life + Style said...

This is THE cutest outfit!! You look gorgeous as always, girly! And so sorry to hear about your co-worker. I've definitley worked with my fair share of unfriendly people (or at least they were to me), I try to let them do their own thing, remind myself to not take personally and be myself. Best of luck!! Keep me posted on how it goes! <3

Olivia Monopoli said...

Aw this is such a great outfit and I love how your sweater matches the designs in the background. The whole outfit is just very you!
Anyway, I totally get what you mean. I feel like I have many good acquaintances where I am-I'm quiet and reserved like you-and sometimes it's hard to get by on just that. Going home every once and awhile really helps you feel the warmth and love of family and friends! Hopefully, acquaintances will become friends because it is nice to have someone who you connect with.
And I'm sorry to hear about your co-worker. Honestly, I think that you have already said all you can say. You took the bigger stance and directly approached it. And she was the one in denial about it so there's not much you can do. Just deal with it and maybe hopefully she'll find something better to do than to be miserable all the time! Good luck!
Olivia | Her Name Was Celebration

katie said...

Thats always sucky to work with someone who doesn't like you but I think what everyone's saying with the "killing with kindness" isn't quite the right way to go. Unless the kindness is very genuine it's quite passive-agressive which people pick up on and it can come across as very mocking( which I don't think will help you with this girl). I've delt with this situation many times with both myself or other employees and what works 90% of the time is to be genuinely kind - paying her a real completment once everytime works amazinly. Be genuine - not kissy-kissy - but say something like "you work real well with customers" or "you are really efficent" or anything that is true and once people start thinking of or hearing postiveness from others it really changes the attuide. I know it sounds dippy but it does work(unless its that one person who is just so set in their ways but usally it means they have something going on in their own lives). Just don't do the fakey kindness, it does tend to aggervate things. And jezz, I am so sorry about all of these spelling errors, i'm lost without spellcheck! Anyways good luck with the work thing!

Primrose Bigwood said...

On the plus side you look gorgeous! X

www.stylepetal.blogspot.co.uk

Marlen said...

Ah, wut. She sounds absolutely terrible! I'm *the* worst when it comes to confrontations, so I felt all uncomfortable and panicky just reading this. i think you did an awesome job being upfront with her and letting her know you get that she doesn't like you...and it amazes me that she pretended she didn't. It's weird enough since she doesn't know enough about you to hate you, but to then pretend she doesn't when she's so obviously nasty?! Honestly, she just sounds like a terrible person all around.

My advice to you is just not to be walked on. Sometimes we can't get a person to like us- it's uncomfortable, but it's true. I wouldn't go out of my way to be nice or friendly to her, but I wouldn't give her attitude either. Just be neutral. I feel that people like that would at least respect someone who doesn't allow themselves to be kicked around, even if they won't like them. And if she does give you more outbursts or crap like that, maybe say something like "so you're still sticking to the story that you don't like me?"

Ugh, sorry you have to go through this :( I want to come to Boise and beat her up for you, haha.

xo marlen
Messages on a Napkin

czarianonuevo said...

the dress is perfect! it's simple yet stylish enough! the printed cardi is such a smart touch to the outfit :)


woah, i couldn't agree more with what you said "Kill them with kindness"
everything will be alright and i think soon, you'll learn more and make less mistakes :)


czarina--

© the dragonfruit diaries • Theme by Maira G.