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Let's Get Real: Pop Quiz

Have you ever felt put on the spot? Someone casually asks you a question, yet underneath that question lies another intent that is reliant on whether you answer correctly or not.
You are being given a pop quiz, my friend, and how you respond is how you will be judged.

Now I don't mind being challenged. What bothers me is what the other person's attitude or intent may be. When it is an open-hearted discussion and we are honestly exchanging ideas or thoughts, I find that one of the most invigorating and enlightening type of conversations to have. But when it is done in a superior manner and everything I have to offer is all but completely disregarded, it frustrates me. Why are you asking for my opinion if you don't want to hear it?

I see this, not only in my own circles, but in others - all the time! Why are people looking for conflict? What's worse is when I'm put on the spot. At times, I can be clever and witty and quickly respond with a smart answer, but...

Okay, who am I kidding?
That only happens hours later when I'm lying in bed, replaying the conversation and thinking about what I should have said. 

What some people don't understand, is that while I'm quiet initially, it's because I'm absorbing what they're saying. I'll let their question or statement sit in my mind for hours, perhaps a day, a week, sometimes months before I can formulate a thorough answer or opinion. I'll imagine what I should've said and build on it until I can finally form my own opinion in a thorough statement. 

There are those who don't need to think that long, and can instantly come up with a response, and to those individuals, I envy you. Though I am wary of people who talk so easily and smoothly (I've learned the hard way those are often the types who talk a loud talk but rarely walk the walk), I cannot help but admire their ability. The only way I can even work through a thought is to write it out.

So here you go. I just wrote out my feelings on being pop quizzed.

How else do you think I find substance for these blog posts? ;)
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10 comments

Love and Ace said...

Hmm pop quizzes happen very rarely for me. Maybe once in my entire life? Great photo btw! xx Kat


Love and Ace

Mili said...

Some people these days :( It sucks that you had to deal with someone like that recently

Mili

Kim Alston said...

everything is so quick and fast nowadays. people overall need to slow things down. people need to learn how to listen first and then respond. a smart person listens, takes things in and then responds. so there's nothing wrong with you. i was at the mcdonalds drive thru and she said for me to go with my order. when i started, she said wait wait wait (and i wasn't speaking fast) THEN had an attitude when i said let's start this again. LOL she wasn't focused! she didn't listen! small example, but i hope it helps. let the fast one's smoke themselves out!
http://www.averysweetblog.com/

Keit said...

Now I can't stop wondering what was the question!!!! It's eating me inside! :D
But I totally understand what you mean. Whenever I'm asked a question in this manner I usually reply with a joke. For instance "WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" My reply "Well, I'm a supermodel and a fashion stylist, writer, photographer, you know..."

Mica T said...

I find that it doesn't matter how well thought out your response is - if someone is asking a question with an alternate motive their mind is already made up before you even answer! People like that aren't worth the time IMHO!

Much better to spend time talking with those who do get you and will listen to what you have to say - no matter how long it takes you to get the words out :)

Away From The Blue

Lisa said...

I feel the exact same way about pop quizzes. I like to be prepared for what's coming rather than someone just springing something on me!

Lisa
The Lovely Memoir

Sandra Leiva said...

Happy Monday :-)))

xx

http://www.madridforniagirl.com/

Marlen said...

Arg, that's how my ex-boyfriend would be *all* the time, it would drive me crazy. And I hate conflict, so I'd fail the quiz and then just have a huge rant in my head over how stupid that was. And then proceed to walk across the street to the mini mart to buy a bag of marshmallows to eat my feelings. Yea, probs not the most mature way to handle things, haha.

I feel like from now on though, i'm just not going to let myself be pop quizzed. I think from now on I'll just call them out on it and ask what they're *really* trying to say. That way they feel dumb and WE WIN. Again, probs not the most mature way to handle things, haha ;)

xo marlen
Messages on a Napkin

Ali Hval said...

Someone said something about people needing to slow down and I agree. We can't move so fast through conversations. It's good to slow down and talk about one topic for a while and let them merge like gentle waves into each other opposed to hopping violently from one topic to the next. I feel like if conversation doesn't flow like that with someone you've been around for a while, it might be a friendship or relationship (I use the term relationship loosely to describe a connection between two people or even a person and an object nowadays...) you can let go of. Nice post, Linda!

Toks said...

That happens to me too, I always think of the perfect answer hours after hahaha. xoxoxo

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