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Life Lately: "You're Too Independent"

I've been told I'm independent several times, and it's an adjective I'll wear proudly as a compliment. 
However, I've also received that title while the bestower of the kind word shakes their head like it's a negative thing. To which I simply must shake my head back at them as well.

Why is it that being an independent female is a bad thing? 
"You're too independent."
Um, I'm sorry?  

No, you know what, I'm not sorry. Not one bit.

The fact that I'm perfectly content right now with where I'm at, am excited for opportunities that I have worked hard towards, and don't feel incomplete in myself is something I will never apologize for. It's taken me a long time to come to this state of being, and I am not backtracking. One day, I know I will mature into a new mindset, one in which perhaps I can be less selfish and want to give my all to someone else. However, right now, my heart is free to wander and drift, not looking to attach itself to anyone in particular. Not in the way you wish, perhaps. Which is unfortunate it hurts you, but why must you insist I become what you want?

Why is it that you think it's good for me to be independent, but not too independent? Does it bother you that much that I am happy to remain on my own instead of settling down with someone? Why is it that you shake your head at me and call me a dreamer? Why is it you constantly drop hints about facing reality and knowing what I need?

Yes, I have dreams, but I have every hope of making them a reality. Perhaps they'll change down the road, and I'll realize new dreams that are even better. But I believe I've been given these restless hopes for a reason.

Also, who are you to decide what's best for me? 
I'll leave that to the man upstairs and continue to chase down my dreams with His help. If my independence bothers you, then I hope you learn to accept it. No, not just accept it, but embrace it. If you are truly desiring to be there for me and support me, then know that my streak of independence is a part of the way I was created.  

I am no longer that soft-spoken, yielding, and impressionable young girl I was a few years ago. You may view me as broken, but the fact is, I have been pieced together into something stronger so that I can fulfill more burdensome goals.

I am independent, and I am not sorry about it.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:7
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35 comments

Maryn Heald said...

You go girl! Independent, beautiful, and intelligent.

Avi Valencia said...

Go, Linda, Go!! I always admire you and be independent it's not a bad thing :) <3 you are a beautiful young lady :D and you can make your dreams come true.

Avi
www.petitefashionmonster.com

Sampada said...

Ugh what does TOO independent even mean? Bask in that independence, Linda...it's definitely not easy to take life on your own, so if you're succeeding in that department, definitely own it! You're amazing!

Kim Alston said...

People will always have something to say Linda! Do what's in your gut! Do what is beneficial to you! Don't let others opinions dictate your life. God gave you a brain and I'm so glad you're using it well! Proud of you!

Toks said...

Well said Linda. Your life will always be yours and you must do as you think is best. Advice is always welcome when asked for. People will always want to give their opinion whether you want it or not. You have your whole life ahead of you so go after your dreams. Have a great weekend. xoxoxo

caffinatedlove said...

Very well said, my dear. I like this oversharing side of you. Just kidding. It's the perfect amount of sharing. :)

I always find that, especially with women, others are uncomfortable when we don't feel the need to settle into the box society has so carefully knit for us. I get that same reaction when it comes up in conversation that I don't want kids. They always tell me that I'm too young to know, that I'll change my mind, blah blah blah. But, see, the point is that I don't want kids now and I don't have the desire to have them later. And that, for some reason, baffles people.

You are a very strong woman with a fabulous moral compass and a lot to offer the world. Don't settle down unless you really want to and you meet this fabulous brilliant man who sweeps you off your feet and who will let you be as free as you were before you met him. And also never settle.

love,
a

www.missdecaf.blogspot.com

Rory said...

Linda, this is why I look up to you. You inspire me all the time--both with your outfits, and the personal words you so courageously share. You rock. <3
xo
Rory

Kati said...

Thanks for leaving such a darling comment on my blog!
I never heard of anyone saying that someone it 'too independent', what a
weird and utterly pointless thing to say...

Have the best weekend ever,
-Kati

Sam said...

I admire you Linda, I wish I were more independent and you are an inspiration to girls younger than you to step up and stand up on their own. Loved reading your viewpoint on my last point... Have a Fabulous Weekend!

Yoko Nguyen said...

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Nicole K. said...

I totally love the positive vibes vibrating from this post, haha!! I don't ever think someone can be "too independent"- I always feel I need to be more independent all the time!! Everyone has their own dreams and goals and there's nobody who can tell you what's best for you than yourself!!

Chic Nikkie

subham rai said...

Amazingly written & Thanks for sharing this post. Would you like to
follow each other via GFC, Google+ & Bloglovin. Please lemme know!
& take care!

X
http://subhamrai.blogspot.in/

czarianonuevo said...

Reading this post completes my day. Everything you wrote just sums up my thoughts recently. I love the message it implies to women, especially young ones, of this generation. I'm glad you are sharing these thoughts to us. I feel inspired and empowered thru this :)

czarina:)

libys11 said...

go girl!!! i am in total agreement! girls shouldn't be sorry for being too independent! :)

Animated Confessions

Renae of Simple Sequins said...

Man it seems like I have been away from you blog like FOREVAH! Where have I been? Oh dealing with chemo symptoms, that's what. Just in the past few days have I been able to blog and see my best buddies. AND IT FEELS GREAT!

I love this ensemble. The sunnies are a bit ewh, but we all know the saying and it is rather cleaver and trust you to have some thing cleaver.

When #6 chemo has done it's thang, I do promise to make more comment here again on a regular basis, k? k! ♥

Renae of Simple Sequins said...

Doh! I didn't say anything about independence.

I too am independent even tho I have a very capable and helpful husband, I love to escape and go off and shop where I want, when I want. Travel with friends and not include him, etc. My husband is unique in that we were both single for a long time before we met. Me = 9 yrs and him = 14 yrs. So when we got together we knew we loved and trusted each other but we also have our independence we each respect. It is interesting but it does work. There is a difference between being clingy in a marriage (bad, wrong) and being independent in a marriage (healthy and comfortable) and do believe me, I have huge trust issues, so with this guy, I trust him and I know I am trusting a great guy!

Best to you doll! ♥

Hoda Katebi said...

Ugh. Love. This. Post. You tell them, Lina! Double standards are actually the worst. It's like when a man gives orders he's confident and successful, but when a woman does she is "bossy."
I think you are absolutely wonderful and so glad to hear that you are so independent that you're making the guys nervous! c; Keep it up! xx

<(') Hoda | JooJoo Azad ~ Free Bird

JANICE G said...

you go :)

the STYLE Fringe BLOG
the STYLE Fringe BLOGLOVIN
Instagram
http://the-stylefringe.blogspot.com

Helen said...

Fab post. So true, being independent isn't a bad thing, and you shouldn't let others tell you otherwise! I think you need to be able to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with another person.

Helen xx
uhhelsyeah.blogspot.co.uk

Helen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Midwest Muse said...

This is such a great and important post. Everyone has an opinion and none of them are ever right and this is so empowering for women to speak up on their dreams. So thank you!

nancy @ adore to adorn said...

I'm so surprised to hear that people are stating your independent sprit as a negative!! To be a smart, young, educated woman who is proud and unapologetic to be indecent is a profound and wonderful thing! If only I was the kind of independent person I feel I am now when I was younger! I would have shrugged off so much more of the people who cast negativity on me! I am glad to hear you be unapologetic for who you are. You will definitely go far in whatever you pursue. No matter how big or small your dream is, you will be successful. =)
xo,
nancy

http://www.adoretoadorn.com

Lily Fang said...

Linda! Your life lately posts are my favorite--they bring up many insightful points and thoughts that many of us can resonate. Independent is one of those words that I believe can't be negative. Props to you for breaking the traditional mold, for being fearless, for being YOU. I believe only the restless truly experience life to the fullest because they're not simply content with what's before them. They want to know more, to experience more, to travel more, to learn more, to be more. Best of luck to you in all your independent endeavors, especially the traveling (btw, I think you'd love the book The Lost Girls; it's about 3 girls who take a year off to backpack across the world--I found it incredible) and switching schools. It's truly inspiring to see you so determined.

As for your looks, I've missed out on quite a few! I'm really liking the quirky new pieces--that pineapple top is fab and that crop top is so chic and trendy! My absolutely favorite though is that sleek ChiChi dress. It suits you so well and I love how you paired it with a polished bun and edgy heels. Those photos on the town of perfect too!

As for your adventures, I agree that there's something magical about stargazing. And taking senior photos sounds so fun--that's what I would've loved to do more often if I hadn't worked this summer! I do love the senior photo excuse though and may have to use it in the future haha.

I can't believe summer is ending so soon either. Stay strong, beautiful, and inspiring, dear Linda!

katie said...

That seems like a such a strange thing to say, unless someone wants to go to Mar without a support team or terra firming first, I can't really see where someone could be too independent. Seems like a good thing! I do see how much you've changed the past few years, you've grown up so much and seems so confident in yourself and your choices and it's really been amazing to follow along. You're such a strong young lady and you seem really happy in your life right now.

Alessandra Mazzini said...

Being independent is the best!! ;)

http://fashionindahat.com/

Joyce Chen said...

Independence is an amazing trait to have! I'd call having dreams and taking steps toward them not as "too independent," but fearless and brave :)

Keit said...

I feel like people nowadays are interfering in the life of others way too much. Why the fuck would someone care if I'm independent or not? People should just look at their own lives and stop preaching others, it's moronic!

Chloë, Wardrobe Quarry said...

I agree with you that independence is a quality to pride yourself on. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

Wardrobe Quarry

Samantha said...

Linda, you have to be one of my favourite people :) I love your frankness and honestly when it comes to life and anything it may throw at you! I look up to you in that regard, the fact that you can just "be." You go, girl! :D

Sam said...

Thanks so much for stopping by...Hope you have a successful week ahead!

Sandra Leiva said...

Beautiful girl!

xx

http://www.madridforniagirl.com/

Karolina Antosik said...

I think the good thing is to be independent especially if you are a woman. We have a law to feel safe with ourselves and be independent :-)

By The Shore, Life + Style said...

Yes, to being independent! When I met Martin I was fiercely independent, well I still am, but have toned it down over the years... marriage ect. ;) But I think it's awesome to be exactly who you are, full of life and dreams. Go Linda!! xoxo

Maiken said...

independence is definitely a good thing and it's better to be too (?) independent than not independent at all. I believe all of us should be independent enough to be able to make it on our own when there is need for that. you can't always count on others in life and that's a fact so yeah, independence is always better than being a complaining whiner! ;)

Maiken,
Maikeni blogi - part of me

Alexandra Zakharova said...

Yep, me too. I'm independent and I do love this feeling. I'm of the opinion that we always should work out own salvation, if we want to survive in this mad world we should try to become such a self-reliant person.
Thanks for the post, Linda! It gives food for thoughts.

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